Flaming Lips Entry # 960 (from Bridesmaids)

Entry # 960

From the movie The Bridesmaids (2011)

Megan: Nice hit! Alright, am glad to see you have a little bit of spark in you. I knew that Annie was in there somewhere. I think… I think you’re ready now to hear a little story about a girl; a girl named Megan. A girl named Megan who did not have a very good time in high school. … I’m referring to myself when I say Megan, it’s me Megan.

Annie: I know.

Megan: And I know you look at me and think ‘Boy, she must have breezed through high school!’ Not the case Annie.

Annie: No.

Megan: No! This (pointing to herself) was not easy going up and down the halls. Ok? They used to blow me up. They threw firecrackers at my head. Firecrackers! I mean, literally. I'm not saying that figuratively. I got firecrackers thrown at my head. They called me ‘a freak’. Do you think I let that break me? Do you think I went home  to my mommy crying, ‘I don’t have any friends. Megan does not have any friends’.? No I did not! You know what I did? I pulled myself up. I studied really hard. I read every book in the library. And now, I work for the government and I have the highest possible security clearance. Don’t repeat that!

Annie: I won’t.

Megan: I can’t protect you. I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes.

Annie: (shocked) I won’t tell anybody.

Megan: You would be amazed! a lot of shopping malls! Don’t repeat that!

Annie: I won’t.

Megan: I have six houses. I bought an 18-wheeler a couple of months ago just because I could. Ok, you lost Lillian and you got another bestfriend sitting in front of you if you’d notice Megan. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I do not associate with people who blame the world for their problems, coz’ you’re your problem, Annie; and you’re also your solution.

Annie is played by Kristen Wiig and Megan by Melissa McCarthy.